Ahhhhhhh, the ever elusive self-confidence.
It's so easy to be positive and encouraging towards others, but when it comes to ourselves it can be soooo much harder to be kind.
It could be my fairly perfectionistic nature regarding my abilities (Thanks for that family trait, Dad), or that i tend towards melancholy because I'm an artist, and well, that seems to just be the way my mind works. But lately I have been really coming up against self doubt in a stronger way than I ever have before. Last week I sat wallowing for a while and decided that somehow, I needed to creatively express this. Good can come from terrible feelings.
So, I built a Self Confidence Machine 3000. Here are the logistics: A machine that starts with 'You Have All You Need' as the central ingredient. (See how I did that? I know I have all I need. But I put it in there as a dose of truth in the machine). There are little workers that for some reason, look an awful lot like little council workers. One of them at the top is clearly an OHS worker ticking off a checklist of safety.
The machine has my heart, surrounded by cogs and wheels- my mind. I wanted to highlight that while it might take a team of little brain workers to help change my self-belief, it is possible to rewire the thought processes. (Neuroplasticity is a beautiful thing).
At the very end of the process, at the very top of the machine the small words "I can do it" make their way out. This is to symbolise that I know this truth, but I am still hesitant to back myself and really shout true self confidence. It's a journey, and I mean, I only just built this machine so it needs time.
If you face the same struggle, I want you to know there is a huge chance you are actually more equipped and capable than you let yourself believe you are. Seriously.